Taking the Eurostar to Paris this evening so I thought it would be a good idea to brush up on a few French phrases since none of the 25 credits of French stuck in my head over the thirteen years since I was in University. It is not so much the thirteen years. I didn’t remember much at the time either.

I did a search on “french phrases” in Yahoo! and the first Website that came up had some inspired suggestions.

Some of my favorites:

“Haven’t the police found you yet?” - “La police, ne t’a pas encore trouvé?”
(la po - lees ne ta pa zen - cor troo - vay)

“Would you stop spitting on me while you’re talking!” - “Voulez-vous cesser de me cracher dessus pendant que vous parlez!”
(voo - lay voo se - say de me cra - shay de - su pen - dan que voo parl - ay)

“Reality and you don’t get on, do they?” - “Le réalité et toi, vous ne vous entendez pas, n’est-ce pas?”
(le ree - al - ee - tay eh twa voo ne voo zen - ten - day pah nes pah)

“My God your children are ugly!” - “Mon Dieu, que vos enfants sont laids”
(Mon dyer ke voe zen - fant son lay)

“I have a frog in my bidet!” - “J’ai une grenouille dans mon bidet!”
(zhay en gre - noo - ee dan mon bee - day)

Can’t wait to try them out. . .

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Kick-ass. *(pause) You can (longer pause) read. . .

(longer pause)

(more pausing)

read it here.

(Silence)

*Please forgive me for the very easy theatre humor.

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Yesterday afternoon I had a glass of Irish Creme and I had an allergic attack even worse than tequila.

Got a rash and had problems breathing. Preston walked in, looked at me and said, “What is wrong!” Guess my face was all red. Had to get sick.

Was rather unpleasant.

Finally it went away and I stood up to get ready to meet Janelle and a headache hit me so I had to cancel.

Was sort of like an escalated hangover.

As long as I don’t develop an allergy to red wine, I don’t care.

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I’m good about taking jobs that I hate in order to pay the bills. I would have given Winona Ryder a good smack when she refused to take a job at The Gap in Reality Bites. I have done telemarketing three times, barista at a Gloria Jean’s working for a sadistic boss, barista at Starbucks under a hospital where the line would be out the door at 5AM with grumpy doctors and nurses. I worked one terrible day at a tourist trap on the Seattle Waterfront called Captain Seattle. I was saved by Meredith at the now defunct Chicken & Egg furniture store and ended up with a few friends in the process.

But if I hadn’t been saved, I would have stuck it out at Captain Seattle because that is what you do.

A few weeks ago I applied for a terrible job just because you gotta sometimes. It’s with Greenpeace. You attack people as they walk down the street and try to get them to give you money.

The recruiter for it rang today. “So, why do you want to work for Greenpeace?”

What I said: “I am looking for a change and it is such an important organization and it would be great to be part of that.”

WhatI thought: “Because I am a big whore that is willing to do this terrible thing for £7.50 an hour so that I can get a positive cash flow going.”

Punch line is- even they aren’t going to be interviewing people until January.

This is a terrible time to find a job.

If I have to take this job, please, please, please let me be saved by another position. . .

The other depressing thing is my eyebrows. I have great eyebrows. I do. I don’t brag about myself usually, but I like my eyebrows. They are really dark, dark, brown-black. Good shape. The bad part is they require serious gardening to keep them in line. This morning I was grooming and I found a gray eyebrow hair.

What’s next? Gray nose hair?

I can see it now. Accosting people on Oxford Street: “Do you have a moment to talk about the environment?” with unseemly gray hair sprouting all over my face.

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A phrase I never thought that I would say.

We’re going to Paris this weekend which is of course fantastic, tres goodness with a cherry on top, but it means that I can’t see Jon Stewart at the Prince Edward Theatre this Sunday. Damn.

I will have to be content with the DVD of Daily Shows that David (not Dave, never Dave) made, bless him. When S told me that he made it for us, I clapped my hands with girlish glee.

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originally uploaded by nicdthomas.

Click the Krispy Kreme to see!

Finally uploaded the pictures from the disposable cameras that we scanned as well as Rob and Sean’s pictures.

The one thing that gets me sick is I have no pictures with me and my family. In fact we have hardly any pictures of my family at all! Oh well. What can you do. . . I saved money by not hiring a photographer.

I should have asked Marc to do it for me so I could have coverage but I didn’t want to put him out- thought we would be covered with friends and family getting stuff. My bad.

At least we have the memory of a fantastic party. Have gotten so many compliments about it so I am a happy girl. (I’m also so flippen glad that it is over and I don’t have to do it again.)

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I finished decorating the tree and our living room is now rather festive.

Thanks to S our wireless is back up! The Internet gods are smiling on us. Funny how dependent we are on it.

Graz showed me that my wool pea coat and Josef Seibel boots would not be good enough for Christmas in Budapest. The boots, while comfortable are not waterproof, so for an early Christmas present S bought me a pair of cherry red Dr. Martens. I’ve always wanted a pair so I’m looking forward to breaking them in.

I ordered a coat from Lands’ End and it is great, but like an idiot I forgot that Lands’ End sizes are actually accurate and I ordered a size large so now I have a coat that makes me look enormous. I’m in a US size 10-12 and the coat is size 14-16 but what the hell, I will be as warm as a little Eskimo.

The last few days I have been watching the first season of Soap and it is hysterical. I was too young to watch it was on in the late 70’s so I have no memory of it. Even if I had watched it I would have been too young to understand what was going on. The writing and the acting is fantastic and some of the lines are so not politically correct it blows my mind. There is no way that they would get away with a show like it today. At least not in the US. I saw an episode of Little Britain for the first time last week and some of it was just outrageous.

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We got our Christmas tree today and will go get lights tomorrow and put the ornaments up. I have quite a bit so we don’t have to buy any. Jen and S laughed when they saw my cow angel ones. They’re hysterical. Little cow stuffed animal angel ornaments. Cows crack me up.

S bought Jen and me an advent calendar and has been a Nazi about making sure we open up the little door flap each day. When I was a kid I don’t remember there being chocolate in advent calendars. Then again I haven’t had one since I was seven so I may just not remember.

The interview went really well and they are having me come back for a 2nd one- although it won’t be until January. I think I will need to give all of my friends and family gift certificates from amazon.com for Christmas. . . this way the exchange rate won’t kill me.

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