Xmas Parties 2006 031

Originally uploaded by Ravleen.

I love this picture of Rav and I even though I am showing more of my gums than I am happy about. . .

She had called me over for me to lean in and take a picture with her. As I did, I managed to totally grab her boob.

She didn’t say anything and probably would have let it go, (Very English of her) but I said, “Sorry I grabbed your tit.”

We both burst into hysterics over that and snap went the camera–

Voila!

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Can you sum up the last year of your life in 24 words? Go toMayfly Project to see how other people have described their year and maybe add your own 24 words. . .

My Mayfly for this year:

New: Country, husband? (partner)
No job. Stressed.
Get job! March start. Stressed.
Teammates amazing. Job insane. Stressed.
Mistake?
(partner) fighting. Stressed.
We’re better-

Happy?

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I bought a new moleskine today. I have three or four floating around with pages I could use, but I wanted a fresh start. No energy from old disappointments. . . boyfriends, or miscarried stories.

Thinking of old stories, today sitting on the tube, thinking about Raymond Carver, I believe I may have the solution to a story that I have had the beginning sitting there and cackling at me for nearly two years. I’m great at beginnings. It’s the middle and end bits where I have problems. (Sadly, I am not just talking about my stories. . .)

This is the thing that has had me stuck:

My father was an amateur magician and professional con man. I used to play lookout for him when he needed to make a fast buck with a three card Monte game. When I got older I became his shill. He always had to move a little slow for me—if he worked at top speed, I would lose the card. One day, I lost him.

He taught me everything. I learned that there was no such thing as free will. You thought you were picking the card you wanted, when really, you just got tricked by a double-cut force. I learned never ask a question that you don’t already know the answer to and “I love you” is to get something. It could be as simple as the last Krispy Kreme. It could be something more. It usually is. If you’re smart, and I’m smart, you save your “I love you’s” for something more substantial.

So I am going to try and work tonight. Maybe, I won’t even use the two paragraphs. I may scrap them altogether. They are a bit of a museum piece now in my head.

I need to be writing again.

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Fabulous!

Originally uploaded by treefrog girl.

Click the picture to see party silliness and other December photos. If this doesn’t fulfill your ‘pictures of adults acting silly’ quota, you can check out my buddy Colm’s pics.

Luckily he doesn’t have any of me slaughtering “You’re So Vain” or “Crazy”.

I think Rav has those. . .

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The alarm goes off.

Stuart mumbles “What blah is it?”

I look at the clock. “6:15.”

“No, What day is it.”

“Thursday.”

He grumbles and buries deeper under the covers.

I’m awake now. I took the day off so if I were feeling rough I wouldn’t have to deal with work, which is hysterical because I feel fine. Other than being annoyed with myself.

“I need your keys.”

Stuart peeks over the covers.

In order to get in and out of our flat you need your keys. I’ve been meaning to make an extra set that we keep by the door in case of fire. If there is a fire the last thing you want to be doing is looking for your keys.

“I left my keys at work”

Stuart blinks.

“So, yesterday I switched out my bag at work. I was going to take the night bus instead of the tube because I wasn’t drunk and for karaoke they were doing Stand by Me at the end and you can’t leave if someone is singing Stand By Me.”

“Did you sing?”

“Yes.”

“And are you still employed?”

“So I was walking to Trafalgar, I put my hand in my pocket and my oyster wasn’t there. So I picked a busy bus stop where it didn’t look like I wouldn’t be mugged if I was digging frantically in my purse.”

“You are such a tourist.”

“No oyster. So I decided to hail a black cab which means that I am now over my overdraft in my checking account from pulling out the cash to pay for it.”

Stuart blinks.

When I had the cab pull over at the cash point, I went to get my keys so I could be holding them in my hand. And that’s when I realized I left the keys at work. Probably with my oyster.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“My phone wasn’t charged. So I am standing out there for 20 minutes hoping you guys were home needing to go to the bathroom in the freezing cold.”

“It wasn’t that cold last night.”

“I was starting to consider which of our neighbor’s gardens I could pee in when Jen peeked her head out the window and let me in. I felt so bad. I’m just glad that I didn’t go out drinking with the Irish team and Colm after. That would have been really bad. Or if Ravleen had come back to our place last night cause she was so drunk.”

“Isn’t she the one that is always so drunk?”

“Yeah, that’s her. So, I need your keys.”

Stuart blinks.

“I’m going to go in to work, get my keys and hopefully my oyster, then drop your keys off.”

“Don’t stitch me up. By the way, remember Danuta is coming today and some guys to fix the door on the cooker and the window in the hall.”

“Great day off. . .”

“You could always go to work.”

“That’s ok. . .”

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We just found out that Wednesday night after the party a woman in my Department was attacked and nearly raped not far from her flat in Brentford. A concierge at a nearby hotel heard her screaming and stopped the attack.

They said that she was okay. . . She’s a tough cookie, but it sounds like she is beat up rather badly.

You don’t think about this sort of thing happening to you right outside your door practically. Or you do. . . but. . .

Anyway. Send a good thought to my colleague.

We’re all feeling a bit of shock and wanting to do something but not knowing what that something is.

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Stu and I went to see the 3D re-release of The Nightmare before Christmas last night. I haven’t seen it since I saw it in the theatre (mumble-thirteen-mumble-years mumble-ago).

Was fun. When I was a kid, 3D really sucked. This, I have to say was rather nifty. There were a few moments where the audiance jumped when something came flying out at you from the screen.

My favorite moment in the film is the same now as it was back many moons ago when I was a young lass of 23. . .

It’s when the toy snake from Halloween Land is eating the Christmas tree. . .

Ah, it makes me giggle.

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There are lots of really important things I could be talking about. Iraq, John Bolton (YEAH!), tornados and it looks like there is a serial killer in Ipswich.

I am not going to talk about that however. I am going to talk about the work parties from this week. Much more fun.

Party the First

I didn’t bring my camera because it didn’t fit into my highly impractical, but beautiful Stuart Weitzman clutch. Luckily Javed, Colm and Rav brought their cameras.

Party the First was a grand affair. It was the client facing party so it was all rather ring-a-ding. Venue was 6 Burlington Gardens.

Each room had a different colour and theme. The blue room had an fish ice sculpture.

But this was a functional ice sculpture. . .

They poured a shot of vodka down the fish and the person caught it from the fish’s mouth. (Only in England would you see this at a work function.)

I didn’t do the fish shot. By the time I was drunk enough to wrap my lips around ice fish lips they had either run out of vodka or it had melted to the point of being structurally unstable.

They had these nifty red balls with strawberries sticking out of them like a giant pincushion.

Because I knew the party would be a bit fancy, I went out of my way to make an effort. And I felt very pretty. I was told I looked pretty.

Ali even told me that I looked like Dita Von Teese. I chose to ignore the fact that he was jet-lagged and drunk when he said it. I felt really good about myself apart from one of the times I fell down or one of the times that I forgot I was holding a glass of red wine while I wildly gesticulated or one of the times when I tried to calm the gypsy down that was screaming at the bouncer. (It’s a long story.)

And then I saw this picture. . .

Check OUT that food baby!

This was at the end of the evening when it was impossible to wear shoes, which was a shit-n-giggle when there was broken glass on the dance floor.

In the New Year, we are starting a serious diet and exercise life restructure thingy.

Speaking of which, they had really lovely desserts. . .

It was a really fun evening.

My plan had been to have a glass of wine and then a glass of water. Wine/water/wine/water.

I suppose you can guess that it was more wine/wine/wine/wine/wine/wine/wine/wine

wine.

So much for drinking responsibly.

Got home in a mini cab at 2:30 thanks to Al. He called the cab for Liz, Celine and I, pulled out a 100 quid from a cash point, waited with us and then after we left, took the night bus home to North London.

He’s like the best little brother.

As I said this was the client facing party so it was all really well thought out and ritzy. The party the next day for the entire London office?

Not so much. . .

Party the Second

I almost didn’t go since I was so fuzzy from the night before. I was feeling fat and depressed and the thought of tottering around in high heals again filled me with fear.

It was in a kinda crappy bar off of Oxford Street and the food was kinda crappy (ok not kinda- it was shit) but I’m happy that I went. I sat nearly the entire evening which solved the high heal problem and while it wasn’t the best party in the world, I had some pleasant conversations and when I left at 9:30 I was in a much better mood.

And if I hadn’t gone, I wouldn’t have this picture, which makes me giggle.

Ed was going to a 1980’s fancy dress party today so he had gone mullet shopping. . .

I left right when people were starting to get to Crrrraaaazzzzy apparently.

This is Francois lighting a shot in his mouth.

I did see him in the office today so I assume that he survived this Darwin Awards attempt.

Rav’s pictures show a lot of drunken dancen’ foolishness. These three pictures are however classics in the genre.

Party the Third is next week. It is just for my Department and the French and Dublin teams.

I have decided to take the next day off. . .

 

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Speaking with Caroline about her holiday plans. She is going to be flying back to Ireland to be with her family and then is a bridesmaid in a wedding. She tells me that at her parish that they have cancelled midnight mass.

“But why?” Says I.

“Because everyone was turning up drunk. Now midnight mass is at nine.”

 

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A group of us are walking past the Prince Edward Theatre in Soho. The musical Mary Poppins is playing there and there was a huge gaggle of school children that were seeing the afternoon show.

Al says really loudly, “She leaves in the end.”

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