Lucky Dumb Bitch
Posted on May 15, 2007 @ 7:38 pm

I got home by 6 because I had been at the office in Victoria and caught a train home. (Can’t wait until I can kiss the tube goodbye.) Go to the store, grab some food, do the self-checkout, go to pay and. . . no credit cards. Where are my credit cards? OH MY FUCKING GOD WHERE ARE MY FUCKING CREDIT CARDS YOU FUCKING MOTHER FUCKER.

I didn’t say that, but I did think it. . .

Leave the food incurring the annoyance and wrath of the Sainsbury’s Lady and run out the door and hop on the tube to go all the way back to central London, back to Soho, not praying but something resembling it, shredding my fingernails to the quick.

First stop the Starbucks in Leicester Square.

I’velostmycreditcardsandthiswasthelastplaceiuseditthismorninganddidacardcasethatsays

I gesture with my hands making the international symbol of a card case

acardcasethatsaystrailerparktrashitlookslikeapulpnovelfromthe40sgetturnedin?

The Manager stares at me.

I gesture with my hands making the international symbol of a card case.

Did cards get turned in?

No.

Off I go to work, pushing over American tourists and chavs that dare get in my way. Get to the office, open my file cabinet and–

It’s not there.

I was resigned to this. I knew this was going to happen.

I sit down preparing myself to pull everything out of the drawer obsessively and there it is.

My card case. With the cards inside.
There was much rejoicing.

Back home, get food, avoid Sainsbury’s Lady in time to eat, relax, blog and watch The Daily Show. . .

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4 Responses
Preston Says:

Ahoy Thomas!! What’s the international symbol for crazy American??

Thomas Says:

Waves and or gives a thumbs up like a demented muppet.

Lillie Says:

A friend thought she’d lost her credit card/debit card. She tore her office and house apart looking for it.

Finally, she called the bank to report it lost/stolen. A few days later, while adjusting the front seat of her car to accommodate a long legged back seat passenger, she found the card under the seat.

Thomas Says:

oh that’s worst. . .

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