Our friend Matt is leaving for Vietnam for two months soon and since I wasn’t up to go to his leaving do Friday night (I put on my frog pj’s and huddled under a blankie on the sofa watching a 40 year Old Virgin and it was great) I invited him to dinner either this weekend or next week so I could see him.

Through his French accent, I heard that he had plans this weekend but maybe next week and that he would let me know. It turns out that what he actually said through the French accent was yes to dinner Sunday night.

Who knew.

So off to the store yesterday I went.

I’m low-carbing but they aren’t, so I wanted to find something that I could have and that I can give them, which will still leave me left overs for work lunches.

I decided on an old family favourite, something we call Popeye Chicken. It is basically a orangy spicy chicken and spinach fettuccini dish. My thought was that I would eat the chicken and the spinach with a lovely green salad and they would have the fettuccini. Went to the store Saturday afternoon. Got all the stuff.

Sorted.

Last night while I was getting ready to meet Al and his Sis and her boyfriend to watch the Rugby, Stuart came in the bedroom.

“I screwed up.”

“What?”

He had invited a couple over as well that for months I have been saying that we should have over, which normally would be fine. Great actually. They are lovely people. . . Except one of them is a vegetarian. His being a vegetarian would be fine normally too- just not when I have already been to the store and the menu was sorted.

So now my conundrum is: Do I continue on with the dish and keep all meat products and anything cooked with meat out of the fettuccini- and make a onion, spinach mixture sans chicken for him- or do I make something else altogether and just use everything I bought for dinner for myself during the week.

Bloody Vegetarians. He is also French. Isn’t there a law if you are French you can’t be a vegetarian?

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1. Be in a crowded cocktail bar.

2. Be sober.

3. Know that there is no chance that you will not not be sober in said cocktail bar as you are drinking tap water (or diet coke if you are feeling wild) for your forceable future.

4. The people you are with are 11-14 years younger than you, which on its own does not make you feel old until:

Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’ comes on the stereo and the people you are with don’t know it.

“Come on, you know this! ‘Just a small town girl’. . . ”

“It sounds American.”

“It is.”

“Who is it?”

“Steve Perry, Journey.”

“Who?”

“You don’t know Journey?”

“No.”

5. You do the math, realizing that when the song came out in 1981 when you were 11, that your friend was a zygote.

Voila! Now you have one 37-year-old feeling rather old.

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You get 45 minutes to answer 24 questions on a computer.

I went through and answered them all, went back and reviewed my answers, clicked finish and raised my hand. I had 40 minutes left to go.

I don’t know what my final score was but I really don’t think I missed more than one I am so sure how my answers.

You do need to read the book because there are questions like, What is the population of England? (50 million. Note that it is ENGLAND not the UK. Total UK population is higher.) Can you use Scottish currency in all of the UK or only in Scotland? (The whole UK) The majority of council’s budgets come from council tax that you pay or from governmant funding. (Government funding.)

But there are other questions that are beyond easy, like what area does the cockney dialect come from?

So that’s done!

What can I whinge about now?

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but the scale this morning said 167.

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The UK version of Miranda is:

1. You do not have to say anything.

2. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court.

3. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

Did you catch number two there?

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Night before the Life in the UK test and I am just sitting down to study now.

I told Stuart that I didn’t want to be bothered, aggravated, annoyed, fucked with, spoken to so he is off drinking with Richard. (I’m not sure what happened to his ‘not drinking for a month’ with me plan. He lasted two days. I teased him about being an alcoholic the other day and he said, “At least I don’t eat 24/7.” He’s lucky the knife I was holding didn’t end up between his eyes. I guess compared to Stu I do eat a huge amount. Lunch AND dinner. Sometimes on the weekends breakfast. CRAZY TALK! I’m happy if he eats a bap with laughing cow cheese and crisps. . . Later he told me he acts like a twat when he drinks because, “I say things that make him kick off.” Yeah. . . that’s what it is. He was very sweet before he left, so it probably isn’t fair of me to mention things he said a few days ago. Oh well.)

So, I open the web site to review their study guide, I open the e-mail from Jen with the study questions she sent me, I crack open the book. I look at my notes that I took when I made the appointment.

She had told me to read Chapter 2-6.

I look at the contents to see what I don’t have to study.

Chapter 1 is: The Making of The United Kingdom

Is a bunch of history stuff. Romans, Normans, 100 years war, War of the Roses, Henry v the Pope, Cromwell, British Empire, etc, etc.

Don’t need that for the test.

Great.

All that shit is what I already know.

The remaining chapters that I don’t need to study according to the woman I spoke to are: Knowing the Law, Sources of Help and Information and Building Better Communities.

Is it just me, but it strikes me as odd that Knowing the Law isn’t on the test. There are subheadings like: The rights and duties of a citizen and human rights not to mention Criminal Courts.

I’ll probably read it anyway. The very least, the next time Stuart tells me I eat all the time and I am compelled to bludgen him to death with a cucumber, I will know and understand the criminal court process.

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I procrastinate. I am sitting here writing this when I should be getting ready for work. That said, if there were a meeting or some emergency that I would need to be there for, I would be there first thing.

I have the Life in the UK test Friday and I have barely cracked the book. Sigh. I know what I will be doing the next two evenings. I have heard it is a rather easy test so if I fail it, I really am a Muppet.

Not really sure what else to say about my procrastinating right now. Guess I will tell you later.

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Nicole:

Last week le scale said 176.6. This morning it said 170.6. I am slightly grumpy because yesterday it said 169.8 but what can you do. 6 Pounds lost thus far. Not bad for week one. In the interest of full disclosure, which is a bit of TMI so look away if you choose. . . My period started Tuesday, so I was probably retaining more water than The Titanic last Monday.

I shall post Kevin’s and my mom’s numbers when they send them to me later.

If you would also like to join our little how much weight can you lose by New Years Day Challenge, you are more than welcome to join!

Update:

I have Mom and Kevin’s numbers and I’ll put my info in the same format.

Kevin

201 lbs.

Change in Pounds: -2.5
Pounds Remaining: 38.2
Percent change: 1.2%
Percent remaining: 18.8%

Nicole

170.6 lbs

Change in Pounds: -6.0
Pounds remaining: 50.6
Percent Change: 3.4%
Percent Remaining: 32%

Mom

160.8 lbs
Change in Pounds: -0.8

(Hey Mom- What are your goals and I will figure out the rest.)

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“Are you having an affair?”

“Thomas! When would I have time for an affair?”

“I don’t know. Are you having one?”

“Yes, Thomas. I am having an affair.”

“Really?”

“You’ve been living here long enough you should have a better appreciation of irony.”

“So, you’re not?”

“No! Why would you think I am having an affair?”

“You’re being nice to me.”

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I cry. Big sobbing sap.

I just had to wipe my eyes. I’m watching the wonderful interview/food show A Taste of My Life. It’s a show with Nigel Slater (who I adore). He interviews celebrities and talks about their life in relation to food and he cooks the food that comes out of those conversations. (Which is an inspired idea.) They often film little bits of family and friends for the guest and I got teary at the Natasha Richardson section. Why?

I’m a big shill.

If something is a little funny, I with laugh. If something is a little sentimental or sad, I will sob. Sleepless in Seattle I will cry at. I’m cursing myself the entire time that I am letting my buttons be pushed, but I will cry anyway. If something is sad and it isn’t shit, I’m an even bigger mess. I dare you to not cry at the end of Places in the Heart, which may have one of the most perfect endings ever. (Wonderful film if you don’t know it.)

I also cry when I am really, really angry which pisses me off because it is so fucking girly and makes me feel like I look weak, which makes me cry even more.

I also cry (well not cry, my eyes water) when I find something really funny which can be embarrassing when people think something has upset you and you’re actually fine.

So if you see me crying, I could be really upset or I just saw a sappy commercial or I am livid or I’m laughing at something.

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