“Are you having an affair?”
“Thomas! When would I have time for an affair?”
“I don’t know. Are you having one?”
“Yes, Thomas. I am having an affair.”
“Really?”
“You’ve been living here long enough you should have a better appreciation of irony.”
“So, you’re not?”
“No! Why would you think I am having an affair?”
“You’re being nice to me.”

