Al is an insomniac and in desperation he went to our health clinic thingy here at the office. Probably because he was sleep deprived they up-sold him into having a fifty quid hypnotherapy session.
“How did it go?”
“Rubbish.”
“Why?”
“So I’m sitting there. And she tells me to feel my energy centres. Feel my energy centres. My instinct is to think of my penis. Obviously.”
“Obviously.”
“So I’m trying to not think of my penis and she’s going on about a blue light radiating out of my trunk. I shouldn’t have told her I’ve had insomnia since I was 14 because she wanted to talk about my childhood. So I thought, ‘Oh great, so now it’s my parent’s fault.’ A lot of things are my parents fault, but not sleeping is not one of them.”
“So it didn’t go well.”
“No. It most certainly did not go well. And she kept going on about Adult Al should give my inner child a hug and tell him it was ok. That he can sleep. A hug is so not what my inner child wants.”
