I’m minding my own business, wading through my e-mail, thinking about where I want to go for lunch even though it’s only 10:30. Take a swig of coffee and look at the IM that Al just sent me:
AL: just so you know, I’ve just discovered that abortion jokes don’t go down too well.
I nearly spewed. And then I laughed.
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You’re lucky you don’t sit next to him. At 24/7 I had to take out an injunction to stop him loudly chewing chicken drumsticks sitting next to me!!!
A friend’s desk was situated next to a guy who made noises all day long. The guy whistled, cracked and popped gum, hummed, sang quietly, cleared his throat incessantly, slurped when he ate, blew his nose often (which could have been mistaken for a moose mating call), sighed frequently, and just generally annoyed the sh*t out of him.
Although an atheist, my friend prayed daily that the guy would get sacked or transferred - or would quit - or die. Or, that he himself would be made redundant. I was waiting to pick up the paper and read that he’d gone postal on his a**.
I am happy to report that Ian was made redundant in October. He couldn’t be happier!
I wouldn’t have lasted more than a day. I would have poked out his eyes with a pencil.
LOL- There was a guy in the rome airport that was running his fingernails on the ridges of a coke bottle like it was a wash board. I seriously considered murder.
Al is an okay next desk-mate. . . Although he does breathe louder than the average bear.
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Not that I think that anyone would be silly enough to steal my ramblings, but in case you may be thinking about it. . . the very act of my writing this means that I own the copyright. Really. Look it up.
So, please don't plagiarize. It just ain't cool. And what I say just isn't that interesting. Trust me. Most of my friends don't even read this.
That being said, I do subscribe to the T.S. Eliot philosophy of "Immature poets borrow, mature poets steal." There is a difference between Stealing and stealing. . . This is not to say that I am mature. If anything. . . I'm rambling aren't I? That's what I do. I ramble. So, yeah. I'll shut up now.
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March 20th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Do we need to send Al to charm school?