I’ve always been a big reader. I don’t recall even learning to read. When I was seven and I got busted for not doing my homework, my parents took my books away to punish me.

Nana, my father’s mother is also a big reader. She would send my mom big boxes of novels that she had read when she was done with them.

I wasn’t allowed to read these books. The covers of the novels that Mom kept in big dusty boxes in the garage were the sort that Fabio would pose for. Bodice rippers.

Of course my not being able to read these books meant that I would of course read them and so I had my first introduction to porn for women when I was 11 or 12. Gentleman, if you see a woman reading one of these novels and then giving you stick about your videos and FHM, know that she is a hypocrite because these books are nothing but erotica dressed up as romance.

One of my favourites from the smut pile was Sky O’Malley. I tell myself that I got some history in between the good parts.

Reading these books was certainly titillating, but it did mess with my head I think. It took me a while once I was in the game to realise that everything didn’t. . . errr. . . work. . . as easily as they do in the books.

It wasn’t until years later, when reflecting on secret stash of girl porn in the garage that I felt a certain amount of -ICK- at the knowledge that I was getting off on the same books as my Mother and Grandmother.

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