treefroggirl

posted by Thomas on Sep 6

It’s a funny thing when you are out of work. People ask you how the job search is going. They usually lean toward you, nod and look serious when they are doing this. They know that you don’t have a job because you did, you would have jazz-handed into the room, “HEY! I HAVE A JOB!” And yet they feel compelled to ask because it is the polite thing to do. They have lines that they need to play. You have lines as well.

FRIEND: How’s the job search going?” (FRIEND nods, and frown half smile grimaces in a, “sorry to hear you got fucked in the ass when you weren’t expecting it, but I’m sure once you get over the initial shock it must not be that bad” sort of way.)

ME: Yeah, you know. It goes. Just trying to get out there.

FRIEND: That’s all you can do.

ME: Yep. Yep, yep. Something will turn up.

FRIEND: Yes! (They say this with relief and a smile and hope the conversation will turn to something cheery like the Holocaust.) And you know, everything happens for a reason.

ME: Yes. Yes it does. Sometimes it’s a bad reason, but yes. It is a reason.

FRIEND: Ah, you! Aren’t you funny! Ha! And you should be so happy you’re not at X because of Y. We all are jealous actually! We wish we were made redundant!

ME: Ah, you!

(We laugh with just the slightest edge of hysteria. Me because I am out of work and my friend because they are very serious when they say they wish they had been made redundant.)

What’s interesting about this is that they are right. I am happy to not be at X because of Y but it is so incredibly exhausting – the looking for a job thing. The not knowing how cold February will be.

Because I am a pragmatist, I have taken a part-time temporary gig at a big department store which will help my remaining savings stretch that much further. I start Tuesday. It’s a great company and I’m really pleased that I have gotten the gig as in the past my pragmatism has meant I do telemarketing.

I also have an interview Friday that I am incredibly excited about and I am hoping that my excitement does not jinx it. From what I can see thus far, if I were to be asked, “what is the sort of corporate job that would excite you?” This is it.

I’ve jinxed it haven’t I?

Job hunting. The job hunt. The hunting for a job. Perhaps I will get a big stick and start beating people.

That is a joke of course, if you are a prospective employer concerned about my mental health. . .