It was an organic top round roast. Rubbed salt and pepper on it then a mixture of ground cumin, chilli powder, cayenne pepper and minced garlic (fresh only please none of that jar abomination).

Let it sit in the fridge all day.

Pre-heat the oven to 150 C. I roasted until the meat thermometer said rare- Think it’s broken though as it wasn’t as pink as I would prefer. Think next time I would drop the temp slightly to do a slower roast. It took a couple of hours.

Set the meat aside with foil over it for 15, 20 minutes. Deglaze the pan with red wine and reduce. Add any juices from the meat.

Slice the meat as thinly as you can and serve with the red wine gravy.

Artichokes steam with minced garlic and olive oil drizzled over. If you bother to cut the tops off, squeeze lemon over so the don’t discolour.

Asparagus lightly steam then sauté (briefly!!) in a bit of olive oil with salt and fresh pepper.

Green salad

Easy breezy Cover-Girl.

Storytelling Impacts Performance
Have a Nice Conflict
The Narrative Spark: Leveraging the Instructional Power of Story
Training to Image: Improvisational Tools for Enhancing Performance

Even though my flight arrived at 11:40, I wasn’t sitting in my hotel until a little after 3PM for reasons too tedious to report in their minutia, so I have seen nothing of New York other than the view of Times Square from my window.

Last night there was a little opening session and reception at 5:30- but given that I had gotten up at 5:00 GMT I wasn’t up to having conversations where I would have to pretend to be an intelligent, thoughtful, funny and interesting person and all I had in me was, “Guhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Which way did he go George?” I decided it would be best to not attend. So I called Janelle and we made plans for me to walk to her apartment and hang out for a couple of hours.

At 4:45 I knew that wasn’t going to happen so I cancelled, ordered a very tasty but ridiculously overpriced hamburger from room service and was in bed by 6:45 PM.

Of course I then got up at 4AM. The plan was to wait for the sun to rise and then go for a walk. Then I got hungry around 5:30 so at 6 I ordered a very tasty but ridiculously overpriced Denver omelette and trolled around online.

Today, when I’m done at 5, after many classes on how to enhance knowledge, know-how and results, my plan is to put on my walking shoes, walk to central park, walk back, get ready for dinner and then go have a very large, ridiculously overpriced and hopefully very tasty steak.

NICOLE: Might run to the store. I fancy lamb. You?

STUART: Going to make my salad. Would you like some?

NICOLE: Um. I don’t know. What is your salad?

STUART: Beetroot, hard-boiled eggs, grated cheese. Mild cheddar. Cheaper the better, salad cream and crisps. Using frazzles tonight. . . Why are you looking at me like that?

NICOLE: How did you learn to make this meal? Was it passed down in your family for generations or is it something you came up on your own?

STUART: My salad is nice. Don’t knock it. What are you doing?

NICOLE: Texting Al your ‘salad’ recipe and that I think it is a good cause to divorce you.

STUART: Giving away my salad secrets!

NICOLE: Yes Stuart. I am. In fact Gordon Ramsey may very well steal it and put it on the menu at Claridges.

STUART: Where?

NICOLE: Never mind.

STUART: You know I can cook. I know you say I can’t but I can. I got an A in Home Economics I’ll have you know. I know how to make fish fingers and chips. . .What are you doing? You’re writing this down???

NICOLE: What else can you make Stuart?

STUART: I’m not going to tell you. You’ll just go around telling everybody.

NICOLE: What else can you make?

STUART: My casserole is really nice.

PAUSE

STUART: You take a dish and you cook some chicken.

NICOLE: You can cook chicken?

STUART: Yes, I can cook chicken!

NICOLE: How do you cook the chicken?

STUART: I don’t know! So you put the chicken in the bottom of the dish, add a bit of gravy, layer some chunky chips on top, squirt brown sauce all over the whole thing then mix it up with a wooden spoon.

NICOLE: Do you bake it all?

STUART: No. It’s already hot.

NICOLE: What else can you make?

STUART: Spaghetti.

NICOLE: And how do you—

STUART: Basically you just microwave it. What???

NICOLE: I’m intrigued. What else is in your repertoire?

STUART: Glazed chicken.

NICOLE: How did you glaze the chicken?

STUART: I. . . I glazed it with a sauce that I like.

NICOLE: Brown sauce.

STUART: I burned brown sauce on it, yes!

NICOLE: Burned?

STUART: That’s what glazed chicken is isn’t it? Listen, this is food that I like. I know it isn’t what you would do. You should try my potatoes with breadcrumbs.

NICOLE: Potatoes with—

STUART: You take potatoes and—

NICOLE: –cover them in breadcrumbs. Yeah. I got it.

STUART: You can cover chicken or fish in breadcrumbs. Why not potatoes?

NICOLE: You should go on masterchief.

STUART: My favorite thing I ever made was a candle burger.

NICOLE: I’m sorry. A. . . what?

STUART: Candle burger.

NICOLE: I don’t get it.

STUART: You make a burger. Then take a candle and put it in the bun.

PAUSE

NICOLE: Like a birthday cake?

STUART: No, not like a birthday cake! It’s a hamburger.

NICOLE: Sorry. How silly of me.

]]> http://travelingtreefrog.com/2008/03/24/cooking-with-stuart/feed/ http://travelingtreefrog.com/2008/03/19/and-on-the-third-day-jesus-rose-from-the-dead-and-ate-a-kinder-surprise/ http://travelingtreefrog.com/2008/03/19/and-on-the-third-day-jesus-rose-from-the-dead-and-ate-a-kinder-surprise/#comments Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:50:48 +0000 Thomas http://travelingtreefrog.com/2008/03/19/and-on-the-third-day-jesus-rose-from-the-dead-and-ate-a-kinder-surprise/ “Stuart? What time do we get back Sunday?”

We are going to Rome this weekend. I’d planned on staying in London for the long four-day Easter weekend, but a few weeks ago I came home to find that Stuart had done a drunken Expedia purchase.

“Five.”

“So I won’t have time to make Easter dinner then. Okay. Maybe I’ll do it Monday.”

“Easter dinner?”

“Easter dinner.”

“What do you mean Easter dinner?”

“You know. A meal. On Easter. Where Christians and those that are no longer Christian but still carry on the trappings of Christian celebration get together and eat some form of roast beast.”

“What do you have?”

“I usually make lamb.”

“I’ve never heard of this.”

“You’re kidding. You must be.”

“No.”

“This is a fairly common thing Stuart. A lot of people go home to spend time being tortured by their families.”

“Yeah. No. Never heard of it. Is Al going home?”

“Trying to get out of it. He’s debating between telling them he stepped on a land mine and blew off his leg or food poisoning. I pointed out that the land mine route might not be the best as it would require cutting off his leg at least by Christmas, but he said it was worth it. . . How can you have never heard of Easter dinner? Did you never go home for it?”

“Well, yeah. But just to get my Easter candy.”

* Kinder Surprise is like Cracker Jack. Except different.

I always order Westmalle Dubbel because I like the taste. The fact that it is 7% alcohol content is a pleasant side effect.

Our waiter was Japanese and kept saying cheers in that knee jerk way that all expats including myself do.

When we were leaving, after I had consumed my Moules Fritte and three Westmalle Dubbels, he suggested that I be sure to drink some water so that I wouldn’t be dehydrated.

I controlled myself from patting his cheek and saying, “Oh sweetie. You have NO idea. . .”

These guys don’t mess about. Finally found a place to eat, or so I thought. Ordered chicken soup. It turned out to be a huge bowl with a dead baby chicken complete with head. 2pm here and I’m starving.

Poor thing. . .I gave him a call.

“I was in a Wal-Mart, and some crabs escaped and people were just walking around them. They’re nuts here. “

“Crabs, like little pet crabs?”

“No crabs like big fuck off eat them with cocktail sauce. They have a huge fish section. You’d love it here. Other than being in the Wal-Mart.”

(I refuse to shop at Wal-Mart because of their poor labor practices.)

“Have you eaten yet?”

“Umm. Not really.”

“I was worried about this. Maybe ask at the hotel to send you to a place that will help you pick something.”

“Yeah. Did you read my text about the chicken?”

“Yeah. Did you eat any of the soup?

“I tried, but the baby chicken was bobbing under the surface and it kept looking at me. Slightly put me off.”

“Maybe you should have eaten it.”

“Yeah. That will teach it to watch me while I’m eating dinner.”

They may be thieves, but I suppose it’s good to know that they have a balanced diet of whole grains.

 So, my drunk ass saw him looking a bit lost after he checked in and I attacked and shook his hand for his work. He thanked me, while looking a bit frightened- but I have a feeling he might always look that way if there are no cameras and then we went our merry way.

Something has switched over for me. I never before would have known a UK celebrity. (Slight lie. I once saw the guy from Grand Designs) More important- I don’t give a flying fuck that he is a celebrity. Not that I ever would have cared beyond a whispering behind the hand ooooooo look is over there bullshitte that goes on every day in LA. If I cared about that I would have shook Julia Roberts hand when I was sitting two feet away.

 Hugh is doing something that I think is important. Something that I respect. So I told him that. Which means I’m certain he thinks I am a nut.

Oh well.

At least I buy organic.

My hotel is in Montparnasse so I went online to see what places I could get a nice meal there Wednesday night after I get off the Eurostar.

There is Le Dome of course, but I don’t want to take the piss with my expenses, plus it sounds really touristy. Then I came across Wadja and I read review after review calling this little bistro a gem. Good food and cheap.

I asked Celine for help so I could call and make a reservation over the phone. Tried to call but our phones at work are acting up so I will try to be brave later.

Celine gave me this helpful phrase: *Je suis desolee mais mon francais est un peu limite. I have a feeling it will generally be a useful thing to add to the few phrases I know.

*Those that know French please forgive the lack of accents.