Why is the only stage direction (PAUSE)?

1. I just finished reading The Homecoming. 2. I come from the school of, you aren’t Eugine O’Neil, so don’t write lots of flowery stage directions. Give the actor and the director the chance to play. This will allow you to steal their choices and look brilliant for the next draft.

AMANDA: Where are you from?
MAX: Buckinghamshire.
AMANDA: Buckinghamshire?
MAX: Elsbury actually.
AMANDA: Ah.
MAX: Do you know it?
AMANDA: No. I was being polite.
MAX: Famous for pheasants and speed traps.
AMANDA: Fascinating.
MAX: And ducks.
AMANDA: Why ducks?
MAX: Dunno. They descended after the war.
AMANDA: What is it with Brits and ‘The War’?
MAX: You’re joking.
AMANDA: Only slightly.
MAX: You do know your history I hope. You’re not one of those Americans that doesn’t understand why we don’t celebrate the 4th of July.
AMANDA: Fuck off.
MAX: You don’t know me well enough to speak so casually. So intimately.
AMANDA: What do I need to do to speak intimately?
MAX: Interesting proposition. What are your thoughts?
AMANDA: You’re the one that broke out the usage of fuck among friends etiquette manual.
MAX: There’s a when to use fuck between friends etiquette manual?
AMANDA: One of Emily Posts’ lesser works.
MAX: Need to pick it up at WH Smiths.
AMANDA: Indeed.
MAX: More important than the when to fuck manual—
AMANDA: More important?
MAX: More important.
(PAUSE)
AMANDA: Waiting. . .
MAX: Baited breath?
(PAUSE)
MAX (CONT.): Are we friends?
AMANDA: We just met.
MAX: Yes.
AMANDA: Will we be friends?
MAX: I was wondering.
(PAUSE.)
AMANDA: I hear your wife.

iamaklutz

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Big thanks to the work mate that forwarded it to me. . .

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One character is showing himself to be very amusing. Hoping that I can keep hearing that. You can’t make your characters amusing unfortunately. You need to sit back and catch their quips. One that came along yesterday:

MAX: I’m fairly certain Sarah is just as haunted and beaten down as I. Not a sexist. Think a man’s wife has the right to be just as miserable as he is.

It ain’t Noel Coward, but I’ll take what I can get.

Brilliant.

Saw this over at Fighting the Void.

Those that know me, know I don’t often use superlatives seriously. I don’t have a favourite restaurant. I have a list of restaurants I like. I don’t have a favourite movie. I have a list of movies I like. So it is no small thing that I am making the following statements.

Wall-e is the best Pixar film that they have made. This is no small thing. The reason why Pixar is so amazing is not because their films look amazing- which they do. . . but because those images are connected to stellar stories and fully drawn characters.

Wall-e is the best film of the year. Ok. I know we’re only six months in, but I haven’t seen anything yet that has knocked my socks off. Have you? And whatever comes along in the next six months will have to do some serious tap dancing to be in the same league.

So yeah. I loved Wall-e. There are many, many reasons.

1. I love a good spork joke.
2. The statements it is saying about our over consumption and our lives being run by the bigger is better Wal-Martishy Corporations.
3. I’m a sucker for a love story.
4. Hello Dolly.
5. Proof that a story is not about clever, snappy dialogue.
6. Proof that a funny and sad sci-fi cartoon about humans destructive (and creative) urge and a love story between robots can work.
7. Hello Dolly.
8. Curious characters.
9. Good old fashioned Buster Keaton comedy.
10. Proof that cockroaches and Twinkies are indeed able to survive anything.

A.O. Scott’s NY Times review is fantastic and there are no spoilers.

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998 )
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
9. Die Hard (1988 )
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
12. The Matrix (1999)
13. GoodFellas (1990)
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006)
20. The Lion King (1994)
21. Schindler’s List (1993)
22. Rushmore (1998 )
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001)
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)
28. Wings of Desire (1988 )
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
30. When Harry Met Sally… (1989)
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)
34. Fargo (1996)
35. The Incredibles (2004)
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
37. Pretty Woman (1990)
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)
40. Speed (1994)
41. Dazed and Confused (1993)
42. Clueless (1995)
43. Gladiator (2000)
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988 )
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997)
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988 )
53. The Truman Show (1998 )
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984)
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988)
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
91. Back to the Future (1985)
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

Of the 100 I haven’t seen 15. Of the 15, there are 8 that I want to see. I ought to put an asterisk by Napoleon Dynamite as I paid to see it, went to see it and walked out on it after 20 minutes because I thought it was complete rubbish.

This list is definitive proof that I am a complete nerd.

There are a few things that I always do each time I come to Seattle. I always stay in the Westin. The only beer I drink is Fat Tire, Moose Drool or Mack and Jacks. I eat at Mama’s Mexican Kitchen at least once and I grab copies of the free weekly papers, The Stranger and Seattle Weekly and read them cover to cover.

The Stranger is rather edgy and has a sense of humour. This weeks letter from the editor begins:

While The Stranger devotes 52 issues a year to the gleeful promotion of immoral buggery, homosexuals have declared America to be in the throes of “Pride weekend,” which means that this could quite possibly be the gayest issue of The Stranger to be produced all year. The only way the paper could be gayer this week would be if it were printed on rainbow paper with glitter ink, and nude photographs of gay icons Burt Reynolds and Rhea Perlman were published in dueling centerfolds.

But what made my jaw drop was their ad for an amateur porn contest.

Can you imagine being on the panel of judges? I vacillate between being very, very afraid and very, very curious. . .

After 45 minutes of there trying to fix the fuel leak they turned on the in entertainment system which was a bad sign. I had been upgraded to business class so at least I was comfortable.

I watched My Boys, a sitcom that one of my friends is in. The only time I get to watch it is when I am on a plane. I need to buy the DVDs. Then I watched The Other Boleyn Girl, which is so trashily terrible, I found it engaging. I must admit that I enjoyed the book in one of those “I must read this at home as fast as possible so no one sees me with it in public” kind of ways but the movie doesn’t even have that to commend it. If you didn’t understand what a big deal it was for Henry to break with Rome, you certainly wouldn’t gain any insight here. It’s pure soap opera costume bodice ripping drivel.

At least it was free.

We kept getting updates that they didn’t have any updates.

Four hours in, the Captain came back to talk to us. Never a good sign. They were going to take us off the plane as the folks in cattle class were really uncomfortable.

I could see my planned dinner at Mama’s Mexican Kitchen slipping away.

While we were waiting to de-plane, they told us the flight was cancelled and would now be leaving at 11am the next day.

Sigh.

A long day of travel without going anywhere. I found it amusing that I had to go through passport control without actually leaving the country.

I must say however, that British Airways was fantastic in how they handled everything. They let us know what was going on, kept us as comfortable as they could and were very professional.

So here I am waiting to board again. I’m on my third coffee trying to estimate when it would be not too unseemly to have a cheeky airport cocktail.

It must be 5PM somewhere. . .